What exactly is Confidence

I often see people who want more confidence. They naturally assume I know what they mean by "confidence". Even though we talk about confidence as if it's an actual thing (we use a noun to name "it"),  we know it isn't tangible. It's not something we can touch or hold in our hands. So what is it?

The internet is abundant with websites and articles about confidence. You can even feel more confident when you read those articles. It can be very encouraging to read the story of somebody who has changed their life, starting with self doubts and low self esteem, gradually turning things around and growing in self belief and confidence, doing things differently, nurturing more positive ideas about self, feeling better, pursuing goals, maybe getting a new job and developing fulfilling relationships. Sometimes reading a success story can be enough to start you on a similar journey, because that other person's story becomes a model for how you can achieve similar results.

Those successes arise not necessarily through acquiring this thing called confidence, though it can certainly feel that way, but by modelling what confident people do.

In my next blog I would like to explore what we might mean by confidence, what we might really want when we say we seek confidence and how we might know when we have it.

Meanwhile, if you have any ideas about confidence or inspiring success stories, feel free to comment.

West Sussex County Council: Spread the word about better, faster broadband

If you live in West Sussex, you may want to pledge your support for faster broadband by clicking on the link below.

West Sussex County Council: Spread the word about better, faster broadband

NLP Book Review - Sleight of Mouth (Dilts)

I am often asked by clients in Brighton to suggest books on the subject of NLP. There are many on the market and the choice can be overwhelming. So where do you start?

What is the right NLP book for you?
It seems to me NLP is a vast subject and there is much to study, whether using it for yourself or to help others. Your choice of literature depends where you want to focus. Are you interested in practical techniques such as anchoring and submodalities? Do you want to develop some coaching models? Or are you  interested in what NLP says about hypnosis?

Tackling Beliefs
If you are interested in self help or coaching you will know the importance of beliefs. You might reasonably wonder how best to shift limiting beliefs and how to nurture more useful ones.

You might even wonder if it is possible to do anything about beliefs at all. Sometimes they can seem entrenched and immutable.

SLEIGHT OF MOUTH by ROBERT DILTS
Assuming you, or your client, have decided to change some beliefs, you will probably enjoy the work of Robert Dilts. He has written a practical and thorough guide to the subject of beliefs, from an NLP perspective, in his book Sleight of Mouth - The Magic of Conversational Belief Change.

The book is neatly divided into sections covering a wide array of methods and insights for belief change.

Dilts makes it easy to learn with practical techniques throughout the book, so you can try each method for yourself and gain a greater understanding of each process.

I used the techniques as I went along which helped me remember the material, as well as letting me test its effectiveness.

If, like me, you don't immediately read a book from cover to cover, but dip in and out when you have a spare moment, you will like Dilt's style. It lends itself to "dipping". The length of chapters and sections is nicely bite sized.

Sleight of Mouth is not a definitive book on NLP, nor does it try to be. However, it is a great addition to the resources of any NLPer, coach, therapist or self helper. It is loaded with practical material. Not only will you find it hard to be disappointed you will probably read it over and over, and make it part of your core skills.

Enjoy.